There's dad first, he looks dashing in his work suit carrying his briefcase, or sporting his military uniform. He's smiling and ready to go out and earn some money to help support the family he has helped to create. He is strong and the head of the family, that is why he is first in line.
Mom is next. She is wearing whatever attire best suits her. Just for fun we'll say she's a stay at home mommy and she is wearing a cute dress and is all smiles. She looks like she should be mother of the year and never loses her cool. She has everything under control and runs her house with the greatest of ease.
Now we reach the first born child. I'm going with a teenage girl since I posses one of those. She is the tallest and she is just your average high school sweet pea. She loves her family so much more than anyone else in the entire world!
Second child is also a girl (again, going with what I own ;). She wears either a tutu or cheerleader outfit. She smiles...funny how everyone is so dang happy!...and she is so proud of her sport of choice. She never misses practices and excels at it!
The third child is a boy and he is a bit smaller. He would be wearing some sports attire and possibly have his jersey number on his shirt. Yep, you guessed it, this guy is smiling as well. He seems to be well behaved and is loved by the whole family.
Now, let's not forget that cute little adorable baby. He sits there in his little diaper with his one little hair sticking up out of his head. A smile is spread across his face, and why not, after all he has the entire family eating out of his hand! They all love him and smother him with hugs and kisses.
We can throw a pet in there too. I'll say a dog. That little puppy sits there beside that little baby and if that little tail could wag it would do so with gusto! Happiest little mutt in the all the land!
OK...now you have the image. You see what I see, right? One big happy family and their happy little dog!
HA! HA! HA! You've been fooled! Here is what my stick people would look like...
Dad is pretty much the same, only his hair is thinning and there are some wrinkles from late nights at the office. He pretty much carries the financial load and works hard at it. Then the poor man comes home to his family, and not the one described above, and becomes daddy and husband. He is brave and tired!
Mom really needs a makeover. She should be a little overweight (after all she just had all those kids and is at home with them all day and no time for exercise!). She would be wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt that has multiple unidentifiable stains all over it. That cute baby? She's holding it on one hip while she pushes the vacuum or mop with the other. That little life sucking parasite cannot stand to be out of her reach for any amount of time.
Child number one, the teenager. She may be wearing the cute clothes and a smile but it's not because she loves her family and is happy to see them, it's because she is holding a phone in one hand and iPod in the other. She's texting twelve people at once while listening to the latest whoever singing whatever that she thinks is so freaking dreamy on the iPod. She is daydreaming about her boyfriend and cannot stop talking about him or what that one girl said about that one boy in that one class at school today...like you know what I mean?
The Ballerina/Cheerleader is next. She has on her tutu but instead of a smile her mouth is wide open because she is screaming for mom to please make her brother (the kid in the baseball uniform) stop pulling her bun! She morphs into this thing that is not human and begins speaking in tongues. She is not putting up with it any longer and wants to move to grandma's house!
The little ball player is getting a quick thrill out of pulling on the ballerina's bun. It excites him. He's the middle child and feels he doesn't get the attention he deserves. He picks one question to ask over and over and over and over and over again, without breathing and allowing anyone to answer him. This frustrates him and he takes it out on his sister. She's such an easy target and if mom and dad actually let her go to grandma's maybe he can have her room!
We've heard where the baby is, mom's arms. That's where he's been most all day. His diaper is dirty, he's teething and won't stop crying and has something oozing from every hole in his little body. He refuses to sleep, which only adds to the crankiness and cannot tell you what he wants so he just keeps on screaming...hour after hour after hour!
Finally there's the beloved family pet, a dog. When the screaming oozing baby is in the floor the dog is severely abused. It's tail is chewed on, ears nearly bitten off, squeezed until it can barely yelp for help and has to share its food and water with the little mutant. The dog is deaf, snores when it sleeps and loves to fart out loud for all the hear and smell. It is old and tired and just wants to die.
No comments:
Post a Comment