I shouldn't have to go on and elaborate but you know me, I'm going to anyway. I won't speak for all mommies out there but I'm pretty sure we all feel the same. Our schedules may be different and some have only one or two children, while others have three or more...doesn't change the robotic affect in the least!
This is pretty much my morning EVERY Monday through Friday...I seriously could do it in my sleep...wait, I think I have!
Here's a BASIC rundown of my morning. Please feel free to share yours with us as well!
6:45am..if I haven't already been up for two hours I roll out of bed, pee (yep, I include it b/c it may be the last time until after lunch before I get to do it again!), waddle down the hall like a drunk while rubbing my tired eyes like a toddler. Gently and kindly snuggle up to the princess to wake her. Amazing how the "princess" turns into something ugly and terrifying at the first twitch of her eye. After a few minutes of being sweet MY ugly turns on and I force her out of bed. I have had visions of dragging her out feet first or throwing a cold cup of water on her head, but I assume this would only make things worse.
6:52am...stop running toilet from running.
7:07am...FINALLY downstairs with ALL three kids in tow and sitting at the breakfast table. Now, I don't like having them eat the same old boring bowl of cereal every morning. So I, USE TO, give them options. French toast sticks, waffles, oatmeal, cinnamon rolls...and whatever else I have stashed away. No our breakfast may not be the healthiest but I do add fruit and I also make them very healthy lunches. My mornings are crazy busy and I need something I can whip together in a pinch. Don't judge. OK..the USE TO portion of choosing what they eat has come to an end because, you guessed it, I would be making three different meals. This was not conducive to my schedule, nerves, or lack of coffee. I now choose for them! They don't argue, much...anymore.
7:11am...everyone has something in front of them and I now can make my first cup of coffee that I sip between tending to the needs of my children and packing a lunch for the first grader. I am very picky about what she eats at school and REFUSE to let her eat lunch from the cafeteria. I have been there to eat with her a few times and it is completely ridiculous what they consider nutritional! ANYWAY...I make her a healthy lunch being sure to hit all the food groups...drink included!
7:20am...let the dog out to pee.
7:23am...the boys have finished their meals and are running down the hall to wash their hands but not without running their hands across the walls the entire way there first. My youngest will even come back to me, show me his hands and declare ever so proudly "MINE ARE CLEAN!" Well, yes, why wouldn't they be? The walls are proof that someones hands are in fact very clean. I find the rag and wipe the sticky substance off the wall, all while cursing under my breath.
7:25am..finally let the begging dog back inside.
7:33am...I have to remind the first grader that it is now time to stop talking and finish breakfast. She is the SLOWEST eater and it is only because she does more talking than eating. I hear most of what she says, but I couldn't tell what she actually said. I haven't had enough coffee at the this point and what's left in my cup is quickly getting cold. She finally spends a little time chewing and manages to finish up.
7:34am...Break up some ongoing fight over which boy had what toy first.
7:35am...I clear the table, hose it off and put the dishes in the sink. I summon my daughter over to me and begin working on her hair. She possibly has the thickest hair in all the world! It's long and can be fun to work with but most mornings I find that I can only manage a ponytail or headband at best. She complains that I'm hurting her and she hates having her hair done, yet she will have a fit at the mention of cutting it short. She is a Rapunzel in the making. She wants hair down to her knees...not happening, but she's convinced it will. We struggle for a few minutes, get the mane in a ponytail and attach a matching bow to tie it all to the outfit of the day.
7:44am...start cussing because I have managed to step on a tiny Lego and must now dig it out of the bottom of my foot.
7:45am...make a second cup of coffee and grab a few swigs.
7:47am...threaten to give the boys away to another family if they don't stop being so mean to each other.
7:47:32am...stop the boys from screaming and tell them I was just kidding because no one else would have them ;)
7:55am...make sure the first grader is putting her shoes on, getting everything into her bag, and putting her lunch in her lunchbox and into her bag.
7:59am...ask first grader to use the restroom so we can start getting ready to leave...which she says she doesn't need to go.
8:01am...begin process of bundling up for our trip to the bus stop.
8:01:27am..separate the boys and pray I don't really call some other family to come and get them.
8:03am..first grader is now ready, all bundled up, shoes on, hat scarf, mittens, hat and jacket all buttoned!
8:03:42am..first grader needs to unbundle because she now needs to pee!
8:06am...begin operation rebundle!
8:08am...first grader tells the brothers bye and heads out the door.
8:11am...first grader finally reaches the bus stop and is awaiting the bus!
8:15 (ish)am...bus arrives! Daughter boards! Mommy can now go back indoors and defrost, referee and begin her day of cleaning and managing the boys.
8:17am...sit down to a, now cold, cup of coffee and thank the Lord for the blessings in my life!
People ask me how I do it...it's because I am now a robot! No wonder I drink...
It's not even 8:30am and I am already eyeballing that bottle of wine!
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